Never Could
by SiobhanJane
Summary: Jack finds a way to tell Ianto how he feels. Post CoE. Assume spoilers for the entire series.


Never Could  
Siobhan Jane  
Summary: Jack finds a way to tell Ianto how he feels. Post CoE. Assume spoilers for the entire series.  
Pairing: Jack/Ianto  
Rating: PG  
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood. No copyright infringement intended.

Jack stood in the middle of Ianto's living room with his right hand cupping the leather on his left wrist. He gazed down at Ianto seated on the dark-red loveseat, his legs stretched out. His feet were propped on the cherry-wood coffee table.

Ianto's head was bent down as he read what looked to Jack to be a UNIT file. He took a moment to take in all that was Ianto: hair trimmed short but the sideburns just a bit long, maroon Rugby shirt, ripped jeans, and gray dress socks he apparently forgot to take off after the day's work. Jack's face twisted in pain and his heart caught in his throat as he watched Ianto's hand come up to rub the back of his neck.

"You going to stand there all night and stare? It's getting a bit creepy," Ianto asked into the file before lifting his eyes to catch Jack gaping at him.

Confusion played on Jack's face, his mouth opened and closed twice before he answered, "Don't panic, but I got a new wrist strap." He held up his wrist as if to show proof. He paused when he saw Ianto smiling at him. "I'm actually from the future, but…you don't seem surprised by this." Jack stood taller. He squared his shoulders and actually pouted a bit.

Dropping his feet from the table, Ianto leaned forward, his arms resting on his thighs. "This is the third time you've been here in the past, oh" He checked his watch, "I'd say two hours?"

"Third time? I haven't been here yet. I just got the strap yesterday, spent all night debating whether to use it or not," Jack argued.

Ianto leaned back into the cushions. "Older versions of you. They told me you'd be showing up. Hate to tell you this, but you do age in the future…stay out of the sun. Curiously, the last one smelled different…more potent."

"Yeah, the pheromones deepen with age. What was I doing here? Wait, how much older?" Jack asked.

"You missed me, apparently. Neither future you said when you were from, but I'm guessing centuries or so. You were more…patient? Calmer? Almost, dare I say, wise?" Ianto smirked.

"Gray?" Jack practically gasped.

Ianto chuckled at the look on Jack's face. "Throughout, but it looks very distinguished, I promise."

Shaking his head, Jack tried to get back on track with his plan. "Look, I can't stay long. There's…"

"Always a chance you'll return early from London. I know," Ianto interrupted. "The two other future Jacks made that point, but they didn't really fill me in on anything else."

A silence filled the room. Ianto crossed his arms and watched Jack's face closely. He knew Jack's moods well, and he could see the guilt and pain hiding behind his eyes.

"I die, don't I?"

"We all die," Jack looked down in guilt. "Well, most of us do."

"Sooner, rather than later though?" Ianto waited for Jack to answer his question.

Jack looked up into the gray-blue eyes he had missed for so long. "Not tomorrow, but yes, soon."

Nodding, Ianto smiled softly. "Why did you choose tonight to come back?" he asked.

Jack laughed, "I remember it was the first time we were apart since we moved in together. You called me every two minutes."

"_I_ called _you_ every two minutes? Not only did you call me half a dozen times on your drive into England this morning, you've shown up from the future in our living room. Who's missing whom, here?" Ianto teased. He placed the file down on the table and stood up, stretching.

Jack watched Ianto twist his body from side to side before he stood up and moved to take him into his arms. His stumbled around the coffee table and stopped just short of arm's length. "Yan…oh god," his voice cracked on Ianto's name.

Ianto stood still, too scared Jack might crack into pieces if he touched him. "How long has it been?"

Jack's voice was only a whisper, "I don't know. I've been off Earth, actually. Maybe two, three years?"

"Pedestrian accident or death by Torchwood?" Ianto inquired as if he was asking Jack for his takeout order.

The image of Ianto limp in his arms, the breath leaving his body, swam just behind Jack's eyes. He could feel his blood pounding in his ears, panic gripping him. He closed the small gap between them and grasped Ianto's head with both hands.

"You don't know how much I want to tell you to not go into that room, to stay home, never leave Cardiff…" Jack's voice caught in his throat. "I can't Yan. Too much happened. I can't be sure telling you wouldn't change…"

"Butterfly effect," Ianto watched the tears pool in Jack's eyes. "I know. It's okay, Jack." He leaned forward and kissed Jack's lips lightly.

The dam broke and Jack grabbed Ianto by the shoulders, crashing their bodies together. He savagely abused Ianto's lips with his own, his tongue forcing its way into Ianto's mouth. The feel of Ianto hands sliding under his coat and up his back sent a shiver down his spine.

Jack reluctantly let Ianto come up for air. He kissed the tip of Ianto's nose, and gave his best evil Jack grin. "I've missed your mouth, and everything it can do."

Ianto drank in all the emotions coming off of Jack. He felt his nerves begin to tense. He felt as if something big was about to happen.

"I love you, Ianto Jones." Jack dug his fingers into Ianto's hair and tugged at his scalp. "I _love_ you."

Ianto watched a tear slide down Jack's cheek and drop off his chin. He followed its path down to the floor and watched it splash onto Jack's boot. "Are you okay, Jack?" he asked softly. He looked up into Jack's eyes. "I worry about you, without me there." Ianto brought his hands up to straighten Jack's coat.

Shaking his head, Jack replied, "Nope. But I'm trying."

"Trying is good," Ianto offered as he wrapped his arms around Jack's waist and hugged him tight, pressing his entire body along Jack's.

They stood holding each other for several minutes before Ianto pulled away and walked into the kitchen. He returned with two glasses of water. He handed one to Jack and sat down on the love seat. On the table in front of him, he placed his glass of water and a small pill bottle.

"No time for Naked Hide and Seek, then," Jack stated.

Ianto looked up at Jack. "Short-term retcon." He patted the seat next to him and Jack sat down. "Future you made me promise to take it. Can't have me knowing anything about my death."

Jack sighed, "No. I'm sorry. Believe me. There is nothing I want more than for you to remember the things I've said to you tonight."

"That's exactly what future you said." Ianto picked up the pill bottle and rolled it between his fingers. "That he wanted me to know something important, and he wished I could always remember it."

Jack smiled. "That you have the nicest ass he has ever seen?" He stroked the back of Ianto's head with his hand.

Ianto smiled sadly. "Not exactly, but thanks."

"So, what did future, future me want you to know, then?" Jack asked as he massaged the back of Ianto's neck softly.

Closing his eyes and sighing at the feel of Jack's fingers on his neck, Ianto smiled. He opened the pill bottle and took out one tiny white pill. Popping the pill into his mouth he said, "That he…You…never forgot me."

Jack watched as Ianto washed the pill down with the water before grasping Ianto's chin and turning Ianto's face to his. He kissed Ianto gently, and as he pulled away he whispered, "You're a hard man to forget Jones, Ianto Jones."

"Good to know, Sir." He leaned back into the loveseat and pulled Jack against him. "Stay with me till I fall asleep."

The similarity of a sleepy Ianto to a dying Ianto was almost too much for Jack to take, but he pressed against Ianto's side and tried to take in the feel of Ianto's weight against him, the smell of his hair, the taste of his skin against him mouth, until he heard his breathing begin to get deeper. He failed to stop the tears that fell from his eyes. "You'll forget this," he whispered, his voice shaking. "You'll forget I love you."

He felt Ianto stir against him and heard a muffled, "Never could."


End file.
